Let’s get real for a moment. I’m over the idea that we have to sit with our feelings and be in our “feels.” We’re told to be “honest” with ourselves while simultaneously practicing self-care, picking up new hobbies, and doing all the things that are supposed to make us happy. But let’s face it—how can we create a vibrant life if we’re constantly swimming in our miserable feelings?

In the past year, I’ve experimented with this narrative about sitting with our emotions, and honestly? It feels like a trap. Yes, it’s important to acknowledge our feelings, but it’s just as crucial to recognize the power we have to rise above them. The lotus flower is a beautiful metaphor for this. It grows in muddy waters yet blooms with radiant beauty towards the sun. The lotus doesn’t wallow in the muck; it seeks the light. It embodies hope, energy, and life.

The Myth of Sitting with Your Feelings

This idea that we must sit in our feelings is, quite frankly, a hack. It often leads us to focus more on what weighs us down than on the possibilities that lie ahead. We become so wrapped up in our emotions that we forget to pursue our goals and dreams. It’s easy to get stuck, feeling heavy and dark when we allow ourselves to dwell in negativity.

But here’s the truth: feelings don’t just vanish on their own. We must actively change them to what we want them to be. This requires intention and, yes, a bit of selfishness. You have to be unapologetic about your joy.

Embrace Your Inner Badass

To truly shine in this world, you have to recognize that you are a badass with good intentions. You have positive light to offer, and the world needs it. Don’t let the fear of judgment from others hold you back. Choose to let your energy uplift those around you instead of allowing it to be diminished by negativity.

You can actively choose joy. Smile, be kind, and spread positivity wherever you go. Compliment a stranger, say hello to your neighbor, or strike up a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the bus. Small acts of kindness create ripples of joy that can uplift entire communities.

The Choice is Yours

At the end of the day, life is a series of choices. You can choose to focus on the dark and heavy feelings, or you can choose joy. You can dwell on what’s wrong, or you can celebrate what’s possible. The more you choose joy, the more you invite happiness into your life and the lives of others.

So, let’s ditch the narrative that we have to sit in our feelings. Let’s rise like the lotus, reaching for the sun. Embrace your inner strength and the joy that is inherently yours. Choose to live a life filled with possibilities, kindness, and love.

As a tool for embracing joy, repeat this mantra in meditation and then in your heart all day long: I choose joy.

Choose joy, choose life. You deserve it.