_{by Christina (undecided last name)}

Transformation is a powerful journey—one that invites us to let go of the old and spread our wings toward the new. However, nestled in the heart of this journey are often feelings of pain, resistance, uncertainty, and even the blues. These emotions are frequently overlooked as mere suffering, but they serve as vital signals—a call to action that reminds us it’s time to change.

Understanding the Middle of Transformation

In times of transition, it’s essential to take a step back and assess what’s truly working in our lives. We should ask ourselves critical questions: What needs to change to foster positive growth? How can we harness the innate gifts within us to enhance our lives and contribute to the world?

Yoga teaches us to alleviate suffering, encouraging us not to remain stuck in unhealthy states for too long. If you’re experiencing sadness or uncertainty, recognize these feelings as your spirit signaling that it’s time to embrace change. Your gifts are meant to shine, not languish in the shadows of your subconscious.

Creating Space for Reflection

To pave the way for transformation, we must pause and reflect. This means carving out time to sit with ourselves, explore our desires, and identify sources of unhappiness. Where is your energy going that doesn’t serve you?

One of the most illuminating realizations in my journey has been understanding where I focus my attention. If your thoughts are consumed by unfair treatment, missed opportunities, or losses, it’s crucial to acknowledge these feelings. Unlike video games, life doesn’t always allow us to achieve our desires through sheer effort or wishing. In these moments, self-love becomes essential. We must learn to let go of what we can’t have and trust that our lives are imbued with purpose and meaning.

Choosing to Rise

In every compelling story, one event leads to another, and we are faced with a choice: to rise to the occasion or to succumb to despair. Trust in yourself, knowing that you can learn from even the harshest experiences. Each challenge carries a lesson that shapes your transformation.

Reflecting on my own experiences, I realize how often I sought validation from external sources. I invested deeply in relationships, deriving my happiness from the joy of giving to others. However, I often neglected my own desires and interests in the process. I measured my self-worth by how well I could make those I loved happy, forgetting that their happiness did not define my value.

Recognizing Transactional Love

It’s vital to discern between genuine love and what I call “transactional love”—when acts of kindness come with an expectation of reciprocity. True love is given freely, without strings attached. Examine your relationships: Are there dynamics of transactional love at play? Remember, love should be an expression of joy, not a currency exchanged for validation.

The Journey from Pain to Purpose

Transformation often comes with a clear before and after, but it is the middle—the phase of discomfort and self-discovery—that is crucial. It requires acknowledging that something isn’t right and committing to change.

For me, this realization came when I accepted that I needed to let go of my marriage. It was a painful process, but I understood that my daughter would always have two loving parents, even if they weren’t together in the way we had envisioned.   

There were at least two very big occasions that had to occur, one was removing myself from an unhealthy marriage and the other was coming to terms with the new life I had to create for myself and for my daughter. This was the middle. This was where we had to move slow. To not rush anything. To listen. 

Today, I can say my life has changed for the better. My daughter is happy, and I maintain a respectful friendship with my ex-husband. Our decision to part ways wasn’t borne out of drama; it was a mutual understanding that it was time to grow. We are both exploring new paths, filled with newfound independence and self-worth.

Embracing the Journey

None of this growth would have been possible without facing the pain, fear, resistance, and uncertainty that accompanies transformation. I’ve learned to understand my limits and set healthy boundaries. I recognize that love doesn’t require reciprocation to be valid. True beauty shines from within, and even on the toughest days, there are moments of joy to cherish.

As you navigate your own life, I encourage you to observe what needs to change. Acknowledge that change can be uncomfortable, even messy, but it is essential for positive transformation. Believe in yourself, and pay attention to your focus. Are you seeking a way out of suffering, or are you moving inward toward understanding and growth?

In the journey of transformation, every step—painful or joyful—brings you closer to becoming the person you are meant to be. Embrace it, and watch as your life unfolds in beautiful new ways.

I wish you many blessings and hope that you see yourself in the gorgeous light that others see you in!